Our house is in the midst of three teenage girls. They don't notice, but I often stop and just watch. I watch these three together, modeling outfits, fixing each other's hair, giggling over a snapchat. I dropped them all the other day at school, sat and watched them walk in, heads leaning towards each other. If they could know how my heart soars in these moments ...
I'm not like other moms anymore. Each moment is laced with the memory and missing of Phoebe. That's a hard thing for my other kids. They want my moments to be about them, and they are ...but they are also about the other sister, gone from their life. Olivia is now older than Phoebe ever was. They are all different people from and yet in some little ways they reflect each other. These are my girls! These are challenging years, increased by what happened to their sister. Who wants to live in that shadow? None of us. And yet, if you could watch them too, you would see their heroism, courage ...love. They are beautiful girls.
I like St. Joan of Arc to follow them. She knows how to navigate life as a teenager.
This world is not oriented toward God and the pull away from a life centered on him is strong. Even those of us who strive to live our faith, fail miserably from the secular view. All around us the 'church' is woven with hypocrisy, let downs, confusion. And those are not from God. But how do I get my girls, all my kids, to stay close to God amidst all the chaos. The only way I know is through prayer, constant and intent. Often my prayer is more of a complaint, a whine, sometimes a panic. I love the saints of old. I can't relate to the 'newer' saints. Meaning no disrespect, when I juxtapose saints of recent years with those of earlier times, I find a disconnect. I don't see the heroism, the absolute resolve to stay and defend God. St. Joan died at the stake. She was burned alive. She would not deny what she knew to be true - even to the hierarchical 'churchmen' of the time. Seems like this is becoming more and more true for our time as well.
Recently I watched a documentary on Netflix called Mystery Files: Joan of Arc. It's a Smithsonian production, so I didn't expect it to have a religious overtone. I sort of expected it would trash St. Joan and jump on board with many of the modern day assessments of her, mainly that she was mentally ill. So I was surprised when it actually 'proved' she was not. Instead, it revealed and 'proved' a young woman so convicted in her faith that she was able to transcend the cultural and social pressure forcing her to deny she was acting on instruction from God ...through the saints.
I want that deep conviction, so strong and rooted in me that I do not waver ...ever. I know people like this, very few ...but they are out there. Mostly what we see now is a 'co-mingling' of true Catholic identity with modern day thinking ...which, to me, equals a whole lot of fluff. These are trying times. I think St. Joan would laugh at me over my whining about the Church, given she was burned at the stake as a 'heretic.' In fact, it was the other way around. Today, in the heart of Mesopotamia, there may be another St. Joan, risking her life to defend the Truth. Beheading, crucifying Christians is something remote to me, to us over here on safer ground. It is a real, tangible threat on multiple levels they face each moment. And I don't pretend to have a grasp on the religious, cultural or political so that I can speak about it. And so I pray for God's presence there and that people will be saved.
In a far less obvious way, the threat to my children is the cultural nonsense of our time, that seems to be holding court in the 'church' itself. The more steeped we are in culture, the stronger culture reigns in our life. And the more steeped we are in God, the more God reigns in our life. These days, it seems culture is stronger. Now, we know God is always stronger, but we are human and we lean towards what 'feels' good, and what we believe is right based on emotional promptings. And that is where and why a solid, practiced faith is critical for all of us. Not easy in any way, especially when we're surrounded, bombarded with the contrary and our 'examples' are often posers or confused themselves. Stories of the saints from long ago restore and affirm the pull I have to focus on God without the distortion of current trends within the 'church.'
And that's why the saints are timeless. They do not reflect their time; rather, they reflect the Truth that transcends all time. St. Joan of Arc was able to transcend temptations that prompted her emotions and her reasonable mind. St. Joan of Arc lived and acted in faith ...different from living in reason.
I read a story recently that reflects how vital this is ...to live and act in faith. A young girl is walking through the woods in the late fall. She comes upon a snake who is shivering. The snake asks "little girl, please would you pick me up and carry me a bit in your coat so I can warm up; I'm so cold." The little girl replies "no you are a snake and you will bite me." Shivering even more the snake says to her "look how cold I am, can't you take pity on me and see how I need to be warmed up. I just want you to carry me a little bit, that's all. I won't bite you I promise." "No!" says the girl. "Oh please, I know you would be doing me a great favor showing me kindness and letting me warm myself. Truly, I will not bite you. I promise. I know you are a good person and like to help and care for others. Please." The snake says in return. The girl is moved to pity, and wants to maintain her kind reputation, relents and picks up the snake. The snake curls up in her coat and bites her! Falling from the fatal bite, the girl looks at the snake as it slithers away "you promised! you said you wouldn't bite me, you lied. Now I will die." The snake looks at the girl "you picked me up and you know I am a snake ...it's your own doing that will die!" The snake leaves and the girl dies.
St. Joan of Arc would not have picked up the snake! And I don't want my girls to pick up the snake either. Even if everyone around them is telling them it's the 'right' thing to do and they're not 'nice' or 'good people' if they refuse ...even if everyone is mad at them and rejects them because they don't. I want my kids to have the deep abiding faith in Truth, that cultural trends, popular acceptances in today's world are far too often snakes. They will bite and rob one's soul. These are not popular words that get people to like us. And in the teenage world (which seems to extend far beyond the teenage years!) being liked is crucial.
God is not a joke, my girls are not, nor am I. God is real and worth losing your life over, just as St. Joan of Arc did. As much as I want my children to have a good life, good spouses, health, financial stability ...I want them to have God more. I want that for them more than anything else. And St. Joan can help me get that for them.
