Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Twenty three!

Phoebe would turn 23 today!  Hard to believe and imagine who she might be if she was still fluttering through my days.
I have tons of thoughts, emotions, memories, regrets ...but mostly I just really really miss this girl who was mine.  And I'm leaning into God, a bit skeptical, but trying very hard to trust Him in all His ways.  Trusting Phoebe is with Him, in perfection and glory.
Little gifts here and there light the way.  One of those gifts found its way into my hands, giving me words that I can't find on my own right now to help others remember ....  One of her best friends wrote this soon after Phoebe died ...

Someone once asked me who you were, and I remember being surprised and frustrated that anyone could possibly not know about YOU.   There was just so much to say that I didn't know how to sum it up accurately without going on forever.  I ended up saying, "only the coolest person ever."  You were an incredible one-of-a-kind best friend, but that description is not at all adequate for a person as outstanding as you.  You're wonderful, spontaneous, vivacious, brilliant, dynamic, energetic, loving, dependable, self assured, talented, beautiful.  Completely unique

Her friend goes on ...but this captures much of who Phoebe was ...and perhaps still is.

Happy Birthday my dear sweet girl ....how I miss you and all you are.  I miss how you would press every button I have all at once.  I miss how you move and boss me around.  I miss how you critique my parking job!  I miss how you would make me redress so I wouldn't embarrass you in public.  I miss your beautiful eyes and how you used them to tell me so much.  I miss laughing with you, fighting with you ...chasing you.
I just really miss you Phoebe ...and one day ...I will see that gorgeous smile and hold you close.
Big hugs and kisses on this birthday!  I love you Phoebe ...always

Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe O' Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon her.  And may her soul and the soul of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.