Remembering

Thirty years ago one of my best friend's mother died.  Just like that.  We were sophomores in college, different schools, and our lives had started to diverge and build separately.  I remember taking the phone from my mother in our kitchen and hearing the news.  And then I remember sitting down at my kitchen table in disbelief.
My friends dad was a high profile guy.  Mention his name and most often people knew him.  He had gained a following over the years because of his great heart, his true manliness ...and just because.  Sometimes people would find out I was friends with his daughter and treat me like I had access to royalty. We still laugh about that. I loved her dad, who died shy of three months before Phoebe.  He was a great man.
But her mom ...love runs real deep sometimes.  And I loved her so much.  I sat with Kelly when her mom died and we didn't talk much, just sat in that space we claimed so often, taking over and relishing being there with her ...or just with the sense of her.  We'd watch her iron shirts or we'd run to Friendly's to buy her a beloved Fribble.  She loved us back. 
A simple photo sent today with her picture ....her big moon face and smile.  Kelly's sister has that same face and smile.  I see it while I'm at work, feel the jolt, the memories of this woman who made such an impression on me when I was a teenager.  She was one of those rare people I felt "got" me.  I missed her for a long time, and seeing her picture again makes me miss her all over.  I miss her for me, for my own kids.  But mostly I miss her for her own kids, for her grandchildren ...the one's who've never known her in any physical way. 
And then I think that now, maybe, Phoebe knows her ...this woman I'd told her so much about.  I'd told Phoebe all the funny stories, little secrets she taught us to take care of ourselves in good ways.  I told her how much I loved her.  Phoebe heard how this mom had laughed at our stories and at us ...the joy of three girls at an all girls high school trying to meet boys.  She never minimized us, she saw all the things we took so seriously and never mocked us.  When a crush on someone crushed us ... she felt our pain ...knew the romance in our heads had found its place in our hearts.  She knew the pain of letting that go. 
I remember telling Phoebe how I wanted to be like that ...but she had that special gift few people do.  And she shared it with me.  Pretty special!
So I think today that Phoebe must know her now.  And I can see Phoebe smiling as the moonbeam face greeted her.  "Did your mom ever tell you how the three of them would eat all my meatballs so I had none left for dinner?  A hundred times maybe."  And I can hear Phoebe say back with a giggle "yeah she did, but mostly she told me a whole lot about how much she loved you.  A hundred times maybe!"
She died way too young ...like Phoebe.
God weaves us in and out of each others lives, sometimes here, sometimes later on. 
So tonight I'll take comfort in Phoebe and Anne being together.