Handmaids II

Hi there!
If you have not read the post just prior to this one, please read it first, as this is its continuation.

So let me tell you about last night!
If you're not from around here (the Boston area) you may not know that we broke the snow record last night!  Which means, people traveled in droves to pray for Sophie in really awful weather along terrible roads.
People were undeterred and we parked in her neighborhood, tramped through the snow, all drawn and called to beg Heaven for prayers.
By the time we arrived, the house was packed shoulder to shoulder.  So we stood in her garage, just beneath her, joining hundreds of people praying the rosary!
St. Padre Pio said that the rosary is the greatest weapon!
We were lucky enough to find the shelter of the garage, while many others were out in the falling snow.  Something tells me no one minded a few snowflakes in their hair.
We would not see Sophie, and my daughter, Lucy would not see her friend, one of Sophie's daughters.
That was okay, because the sheer power of prayer and lit candles assured everyone that Heaven would hear us and was even present in our midst.
Sophie has nine children.  She is a wife, mother, nurse, friend ...and fierce promoter and defender of Christ.
The rosary has long been her weapon.
Years ago, when her first daughter headed off to a Catholic high school (the one I graduated from) she started a rosary group.  We heard the baby steps it took to get it going.  She didn't get much (if any) support from the administration.  But, true to Sophie's spirit, she plugged along.  Today that chapel, where she would pray the rosary, sometimes alone, in that school, was packed full of people praying for her. It took a long, long time, but she got that space filled with prayers to God.  And because of who she is, people, who normally wouldn't be praying ...are.  They are lifting their voices to God.  My daughter just came and told me they will be praying in that chapel every day after school for Sophie.  Well done Sophie!
Sophie has lots and lots of friends, and a large, extended family of people who love her.  And lots and lots of people have stories to tell about Sophie.
So it isn't my intent to assume a central position in her life ...but on a spiritual level she holds a central position in mine, along with my other mom friends who've prayed together over the years of my own motherhood!
As I drove home tonight, after visiting Sophie and her family, I called one of my friends, unable to make it to visit her dying friend.  The ride home was a remembrance of that group and that bond ...and what Sophie brought to our group.  My friend reminded me of some of the stories Sophie had shared, and I reminded her of others.  And though we remember different lessons we learned from the 'mom' stories she told, what we both remembered is Sophie's passion.
I got to spend time with Sophie tonight and tell her I love her and how blessed I am that she's been in my life.  Its been years since we all gathered every other Monday to learn about our faith and share our struggles.  But while the time of that group passed away, the bond of that group did not.  I could call any one of them, out of the blue, and it would be as if we had just visited an hour before.
Why is this group so central to my life, such a core of who I am and what my life is about?  Certainly I know other women of strong abiding faith, women who are an incredible witness to God's truth ...defenders of the unborn, spreaders of the rosary, vital members of their faith communities.  So why this group?
And it is a shared perspective from all of us that there is something unique.  Together we gave birth, we raised, we buried, we accepted, we forgave, we celebrated and we mourned.
When I pulled into my driveway, I paused for one more consideration.  I knew my girls would pepper me with questions about Sophie and her family.  These teenage girls of mine were central to that group too.  Memories are burned of moms and kids laughing and sharing, praying and picnicing.  What was it that bonded us so much?
And then it came to me as I remembered my friends comment.  "No one was afraid to be imperfect!"
That's it.  Together we didn't hide our mistakes, or concerns, over reactions ...we were ourselves.  All. the. time.  It was real.
Of course I've spent time with others in prayer, very meaningful and important.  But when I think about it, there was not much room to be imperfect as a group of people.  There were unrealistic standards silently imposed.  If you fell asleep praying the rosary you failed to say it.  If your kids were unruly during night prayer you hadn't taught them character ...yada yada yada.  And no one person imposes this, rather it can become a collective expectation (shh, no one is brave enough to utter our weakness!  including me!) In truth, no one is perfect, no matter how much we might pose!  But more, when we pose like that, we shut down the possibility of finding God ...why would we have to if we've already arrived!  I need God so so much! Because I am so terribly imperfect.  Just ask around!
So back to this group, we were all desperate ...and continue to be ...for God.  We start over every day! and with each other, we were and are not afraid to say it.  Oh, and our kids aren't perfect!  But they are all extremely lovable and bring tons of joy to us.  Even still, they make us want to pull our hair out, because growing up isn't a neat straight line!
In this group, anyone of us could have lost a child!  Any one of us might have lost Phoebe.  From them flowed a lifeboat of compassion that has been a big part of keeping me and all of us afloat.  They share the sorrow.
And then, Sophie, along with other moms from this group, picked the roses from Phoebe's grave, and it was Sophie who had them made into a rosary.  The rosary travels with me in my car.  Sometimes I can't pray the rosary and I just hold it.  It has been there with me now nearly four years.  Its a treasure to me; a link to where Phoebe is.
Tonight, I got to hold it with Sophie.  I told her it would be a relic since it was touching a saint!  Barely able to speak she responded "oh, I don't know about that!".  But I do.
Self deprecating, relentless, unyielding to the pressures of the world ...Sophie.
Please keep praying for her, for her family.
And I will remember you as well